We are taught fear.

I no longer believe what Christianity told me, that we are born a sinners and have a deceitful heart the second we come through the birth canal.

Actually we are born perfect, coming straight from spirit, still knowing that we are part spirit, one with God, and we are full of wonder and love.

We had that natural tendency to focus on love and wanting to see faces and be held close by our loved ones.

We have that wonder, and love to see faces and expect to be catered to because we know we are loved.

But that all changes pretty quickly.

Depending on our parents, we may get alot of love and be held alot. Some parents think they need to train their babies to be self soothing and let them cry it out and cry themselves to sleep, and so it begins, defend yourself. Figure it out yourself. Soothe yourself.

We are very quickly taught that we are separate from other people, that we need to need to learn to take care of ourselves and defend ourselves and be in competition for things.

We are taught we have to be " good enough" for love, we have to do things right to be rewarded, get good grades, clean our room, listen to our parents and then we get rewarded for things.

We weren't taught that we were so loved by God that he would take care of us just because we exist.

So begins the fear in life.

Living on edge, even as small children, not knowing when your worthy of something or when your not.

This isn't about blaming our parents, they grew up the same way, they didn't know any different.

Throw religion in there and we are really starting to question love and be in more fear.

Basically what we need to do is unlearn what we are taught, and relearn from spirit that we are loved and we are love.

Love is who you came as, and deep down you know and feel that. Love is our purpose on earth.

We are taught that love is in material things, but really, they mean nothing.

I love what Marianne Williamson teaches that we came here to co-create with God and extend love.

That when we have any other purpose in mind in life it becomes painful. It's like we are striving to get back to love the entire time by doing meaningless things, and buying things we don't need, we are trying to find what we lost, Love.

It's who we are. It's our essence, but we are taught fear instead.

Does it makes sense how right from the get go we start fearing if we are good enough, if did enough to deserve love?

It's like we have this free floating fear all of the time. We don't even realize it's there.

We are afraid of everything. What if we pick the wrong partner, the wrong job, what if we fail?

We afraid we aren't enough, we aren't smart enough pretty enough, skinny enough, muscular enough, the tv screams ads of all the things we " need" to have a better life.

Cars, make up, surgery, houses, drugs, weight loss pills, you name it, we don't have it and we need it to be happy and to good enough. Good enough for what?

To feel love.

Do you see where I'm going here?

We are always in a state of not good enough, and fearful thoughts.

It's taught.

We think we are a problem, and we self loathe. We do things to fight the feeling of not having and being love.

We take antidepressants, to make the fear and feelings go away, we fight addictions of alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, etc etc.

That kinda seems like hell to me. Living in fear, not feeling good enough and constantly trying to fix yourself so you can be good enough for love.

At 22 when I had my first panic attack I didn't know what was going on.

I was just driving along and started to feel this strange feeling of doom come over me.

Like super fearful but I didn't know of what, the fear had no where to go but out so my body showed me. Sweating, dizzy, doom feeling, heart racing, felt like I was going to die.

I was told is was a chemical imbalance.

What it really is, fear. Fear built up, not feeling loved built up, not feeling good enough, built up.

That's what anxiety is. The thoughts that ruminate in our minds of all the things to be fearful of in life.

It's no way to live. It's a personal hell inside your mind.

The only way out is to find your way back to love and knowing you are love and loved so much.

I hope I can help you do that as I am learning to do it myself.