It's really almost never about their behavior, but what you are thinking and what's going on in YOUR mind.
Have you ever noticed that when you are happy and having good days you can let the little things your person does slide? Like they just don't bother you, and you think I love them so it's Ok if they do this or that, no big deal.
You can laugh things off, ignore that they are messy or that they don't do things the way you would do it, it just doesn't bother you.
But when YOUR going through something, ( Usually fear related) everything pisses you off, irritates you and everyone else is wrong and bothersome.
Yes?
So yesterday when your sweetie left dirty dishes in the sink, you didn't really care that much cause you woke up in a good mood and had a good day.
But today, you have something on your mind that probably has nothing to do with them, but you snap at them.
What i'm trying to say here is, It's not them. It's YOU.
It's your thoughts and I promise you it almost always come to to fear or lack of something.
Something isn't going right in your world, your worried about something, your fearing the lack of something, and it's bothering you, so you take it out on others and usually the people you love get the worst of it, but the guy at the gas station may get a taste of it too.
So what do we do about this?
First of all, you have to be aware of it. Be mindful of your behaviors. When you snap at your spouse, think about why you're in the mood you're in. Does it really have anything to do with them?
No? Then a good thing to do would be to tell them you are sorry for your behavior and you are trying to figure out what's going on in your world right now and that you realized it really wasn't their behavior at all and your sorry for taking it out on them.
Secondly, think about what you are lacking or in fear of.
I would bet theres something there.
Sure, sometimes we get in moods because we don't feel the best, or we didn't get enough sleep, or we have PMS, yes, that happens and you can still be mindful of your actions towards them when that happens, and explain to them it's not about them, and also be more considerate of them, and then think of how you can solve your mood so the world doesn't have to feel it too.
But most of the time, it's our mindset, our thoughts, and we are feeling LACK and FEAR somewhere.
Bottom line, be mind of what you're thinking. What you're worrying about and how you can get back to LOVE instead of fear, lack and worry.
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