Anytime I post about Christianity or the bible, backlash comes from the Christians.
I used to just delete it because it would cause the Christian friends to send me bible verses and judge, and then cause others to argue which I didn't like.
I have people message me verses and books, trying to push beliefs on me, that I've been trying to deconstruct for 5 years, and sending me books to read to try to change my mind that I've already read back when I was in the church.
Christianity is a hard one to break free from because there's much good in it, and if it helps someone to realize that there is a higher power and help them to know they are not alone that's wonderful. But there's also alot of damaging beliefs.
When I say I was a Christian, I mean I spent 40 years in the church give or take a few years.
Different types of churches and different beliefs in every single one.
From about 9 years old to in my forties I studied the bible and was a Jesus girl.
I formed a great relationship with Jesus, and he most certainly was my go to.
I do still talk to Jesus, because I absolutely believe he's here for us. I just don't believe much of what Christianity taught about him, I think they missed the whole reason he came.
My journey has led me to see that God is SO much bigger than what Christians think he is.
You can't put God in a box.
God is not a man in the sky.
You can call him a him, or a her or source, it's not some man sitting in a throne in the sky.
But that's neither here nor there.
God is LOVE and cares about you very very much. Loves. you more than you will ever be able to comprehend, and the funny but sickening thing is, people will come against that belief.
People will refuse the fact that they are loved, no matter what. That they are good, no matter what.
Why? Because we are taught the opposite. It's hard for us to believe we are loved.
Here's some of the the reasons that I didn't believe I was fully loved just because I exist.
The reasons why I had trust issues.
The reason I felt not good enough.
The reasons I felt so much fear in my life.
In religion I was taught-
I was born a sinner. As an Infant. Came out of the womb a sinner.
I have a wicked heart.
I am inherently bad.
I am worthless on my own.
Swearing is bad.
I can't trust my inner knowings or my heart.
I don't measure up.
I am powerless.
Starving your body ( fasting) is a sacrifice we should make for God to control our cravings of the flesh.
Self denial is holy.
I need forgiveness for being me.
The world is an evil place.
Having abundance is greed.
If I mess up, or fall away, I will lose salvation and go to hell,
Anything outside of Christianity is wrong, evil, and a threat to me.
Feelings aren't trustworthy.
Gay people are sinners and going to hell.
Asking questions or going outside of the teachings is a spirit of rebelllion.
I am nothing without Jesus.
I'm weak.
If I use Crystals or essential oils I am worshipping another God.
Yoga is evil and from the devil.
God gave me cancer to teach me something.
God may not want you to be healed. It's up to him.
God created a burning place in the ground for his children if they don't accept his son, who is him as a human as their savior.
I would say that's some damaging stuff.
Imagine what this can do to someone learning this from age 9 on? Or even younger for others.
How we feel about ourselves?
Dirty, sinning, not good enough, could be burned alive in a pit somewhere.
They tell you if you just accept Jesus that then this all goes away.
But at the same time, they still teach how we are all these negative things and to watch ourselves and have other christians call us out on things if need be.
It's a life full of not feeling like enough.
I would say it's pretty messed up, but when your in it, and it's all you know, you believe it all.
I'm not trying to put down the church, the people in the church are amazing and loving, well most of them.
There's alot of support. When I went through cancer, I had a church surrounding me, and not sure how we would have done without them, and I made some beautiful friendships.
But many Christians who claim they are loving are very judgemental and full of fear.
That is not what Jesus taught.
I know there are churches that don't teach this, and hopefully that is more your experience than what I know.
People put down teachers like Joel Osteen and Joseph Prince but I think they have a better idea of Sources love and what Jesus tried to teach than most churches.
It's not just religion that tainted my beliefs about God and the world though, it's how we were brought up.
See my blog on Fear is what we are taught....
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